Circumstantial overload might be the most difficult. We can choose not to go to a Norwex party if we need to give our schedule some space. But if a child breaks a leg in the middle of wedding preparations, we have no choice other than to make the best of the situation.
Circumstantial overload may happen slowly, as in the following story, or it may happen quickly as in the case of an accident in which a family member is injured.
Becky is in her thirties with seven children under seventeen. A few years ago, one of their chicken houses burned down. At the time, they were thankful that the chickens had left the day before and that no one was close by when the propane tank exploded.
“My husband faced the disaster like a man,” says Becky. “His calm spirit helped me relax. I felt certain that we could make the financial adjustments and life would go on as before. But I was wrong. Very wrong.”
“In time the mess was cleaned up, and Rick looked into rebuilding. The quotes were higher than expected, so he opted to do some of the work himself. He also took on a part-time job to provide more income. Our boys were old enough to help, yet they couldn’t do much without Rick’s direction.”
“I first felt the adjustment in my wallet, but I consoled myself that this was only temporary. Then the spark in Rick’s eyes was replaced with a dull stare. He became distant from us. I knew something wasn’t right, but I couldn’t put my finger on it.”
“Then he was elected to finish the last four months of secretarial duties for a brother who spent some time in Bulgaria. That night he came home and wept. ‘Doesn’t anyone understand what I’m going through? Every time I turn around, there is something to do. The boys want to go fishing, you need a new clothesline, and the chicken house needs to be finished in six months! I am not mentally capable of handling one more duty.’”
“That was the straw that broke the camel’s back,” Becky said. “I became alarmed when I heard him yawning in the middle of the night and knew that he was not sleeping.”
“It was clear to me that my perfectionist husband was overloaded. More and more Rick leaned on me. I cut back on my commitments and tried to keep my time free so that I was available to help lessen his load.”
“I felt like a lifeguard trying to keep a man from drowning while taking in a bit too much water myself. Many of the home-life responsibilities fell on my shoulders. Then I was asked to fill the position of food committee for Mrs. ‘Going-to-Bulgaria.’”
Unfortunately, circumstantial stress is often unnoticed. Worse yet, the victim can be misunderstood or misjudged. Becky said, “My darkest day came when I was accused of being selfish with my time because I declined the food committee request.”
Prolonged overload can be emotionally and mentally damaging
Intense, long-lasting pressures or troubles shouldered alone can cause severe stress. Minor stress is normal, but prolonged stress can cause depression, anxiety, heart disease, and high blood pressure. How you handle prolonged stress is important.
Sometimes this type of overload is not public knowledge. Traumatic events in our plain circles tend to receive prayer, finances, and weekly budget updates. At the same time, other saints are suffering deeply on the sidelines with little recognition or financial aid. It could be strained relationships or little bills that add up to a big sum. Betrayal and rejection cause stress beyond measure. There are no quick fixes to circumstantial stress, but little sparks of light can help you navigate the darkness.
Talk about your situation with someone you trust
Sometimes just talking about problems can help you to put issues in perspective. Hearing yourself verbalize a stressful situation somehow clears brain fog and gives a clearer path forward.
Find routine
When stress prevails, racing thoughts, forgetfulness, and inability to focus comes uninvited. Having a routine can bring some rhythm to your mental well-being. The smallest normalcy brings a moment of pleasure, and it is soothing to the soul.
Intentionally seek a breather
Lingering stress can cause agitation, moodiness, and the desire to take control. Sometimes it is hard to think beyond mental fog, but it is so important to find refreshment for your mental wellbeing. Stress hormones can speed up your heart rate and tighten your blood vessels. That temporarily raises your blood pressure. The opposite happens when you relax. Being relaxed helps you have a calmer, clearer mind which improves your concentration and decision-making.
Believe that God cares
Say it. Read the Psalms over and over. Listen to good music. Take short walks and pray aloud. Keep your eyes on Jesus. Believe “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning” (Psalm 30:5).
If you are facing circumstantial overload, be patient and realistic. God will make a way for you. Many times, He opens doors just when we are running out of options. He will supply the needed grace for that hour. And the next hour. And the next. At times, surprising opportunities come, and prayers are answered in unexpected ways. However He chooses to work on your behalf, hold to His unchanging hand.
Regardless of the type of overload you might be encountering, turn to your Heavenly Father.
Ask Him for direction and wisdom. And say with the Psalmist, “In thee, O LORD, do I put my trust: let me never be put to confusion” (Psalm 71:1).
