Around the world, but particularly in the United States, people seem to value rugged individualism. People who demonstrate this character quality make their own way through life, asking nothing from others and expecting nothing.
I suppose that this idea relates back to the pioneers. These were men and women who trekked across the various new countries looking for a place where they could settle down and call home. There were few general stores and as much as possible they lived as self-sufficiently as they could.
While this may sound like a scenario that demonstrates strength, the truth is somewhat different these days. These days people use technology to deliberately create bubbles of isolation around themselves.
Many older people have found themselves increasingly isolated from friends and family. COVID certainly made this worse, but there were seeds of this seclusion that had been sowed long before COVID was ever heard of.
Isolation is Not a Natural State
Looking back to the Garden of Eden we can see that Adam was created before Eve. While there were lots of animals around, there was no true companionship for Adam. And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him … And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him –Genesis 2:18-20.
And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man –Genesis 2:21-22. Of course, this was the beginning of marriage, but the more important thing to see here is that it is not a normal state for humans to be alone. We desire companionship and not just the companionship of a pet dog or cat.
Isolation can lead to Despair
Perhaps there is no story that demonstrates so clearly the dangers of isolation as the story of Elijah. We know from the biblical book of I Kings, that Elijah was a fiery prophet of God.
He brought word from God to Ahab that there would be no rain and there was terrible drought for the next three and a half years. During that time, Elijah spent time in the wilderness and then with a widow in Zarephath.
The whole time, he was miraculously fed through God’s power, first by ravens and then through God’s provision of flour and oil to a widow, with whom he lived. Through God’s power, he raised the widow’s son to life.
Then came a time when he challenged the prophets of Baal to a match on Mt. Carmel and won a decisive victory for God. Miraculous fire descended from heaven in answer to his prayer. Truly, God was working great things in his life.
Very soon though, Elijah was running for his life into the desert. Jezebel had threatened his life and rather than trusting God, he fled to Mt. Horeb where he heard the voice of God.
When God asked him what he was doing there, Elijah replied, …I have been very jealous for the LORD God of hosts: for the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away –1 Kings 19:10.
We can see here a big reason for Elijah’s weakness. He felt completely alone. God corrected Elijah’s incorrect assumption when He stated: Yet I have left me seven thousand in Israel, all the knees which have not bowed unto Baal, and every mouth which hath not kissed him –1 Kings 19:18.
The fact that those men and women existed in Israel did Elijah little good since he didn’t spend time with them. Elijah’s isolation led him to weakness and despair.
The story of Paul comes to mind as well. The Apostle Paul was a man who seemed to have nearly limitless amounts of energy and an unquenchable zeal for the things of God, but his last letter to Timothy from prison revealed a man who felt very alone. Do thy diligence to come shortly unto me: For Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world, and is departed unto Thessalonica; Crescens to Galatia, Titus unto Dalmatia. Only Luke is with me. Take Mark, and bring him with thee… –2 Timothy 4:9-11.
The Apostle was not abandoned. Other than Demas, they had not fled because they were afraid or ashamed of his bonds. He had sent many of his friends away to strengthen the church in various parts of the Roman Empire. Yet, Paul was still feeling isolated and needed the good Christian brothers, Timothy and Mark, to come and encourage him as he faced a martyr’s death.
Isolation is Physically Harmful
Studies have showed that isolation is linked to higher rates of high blood pressure, heart disease, anxiety, and depression. Older people who are isolated often show signs of mental decline and can experience worsening dementia.
Many times, as people age, they experience the deaths of loved ones. The loss of a spouse can lead older people to withdraw from others and to experience loneliness and isolation. This in turn often leads to rapid progression of the aging process.
Science does not fully understand it, but loneliness leads to increased inflammation and poorer immune function. This in turn can lead to lonely people getting worse infections and struggling to recover after such an infection.
While we think of these problems as those that primarily affect elderly people, they can affect younger people as well. In younger people, often loneliness doesn’t lead to memory issues, but it certainly can lead to things like depression, and it can make chronic inflammatory diseases much worse.
The Opposite of Isolation
If asked what the opposite of isolation is most people would probably answer “Companionship” or maybe even “Friendship”. There is another word which has a Christian connotation that is even better. That word is fellowship.
The Greek word translated fellowship in the New Testament is “Koinonia” and in the Bible it speaks of relationships that are founded on a shared love for God and for the church—a unity of belief and desire. Christian fellowship includes concepts like praying together, encouraging one another, and even suffering together.
I am afraid that many today find themselves in one of two dangerous situations. First, they may not be a member of any church congregation. While this may be unavoidable in certain mission outreach situations, it is not ideal, and most certainly it should not be a normal situation. At the very least it can create a sense of isolation, and at the worst it hinders many of the “one-anothering” Bible passages from being followed. We need fellowship, both to encourage us and to keep us accountable.
The second dangerous situation is that many believers, while members of a church, isolate themselves within that church. If you are a member of a large church congregation, it is easy to blend in and not develop relationships with others. This is just as harmful as not being a member of a church body. Too many people feel lonely, even when there are lots of people around.
Scripture makes it clear that we need a church body. Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching –Hebrews 10:25.
There are many people who have lives that are full of friends and acquaintances, but if they do not have a place where they receive fellowship, they are missing out.
When I see people in my office who are struggling with depression there are two things I always tell them to do for themselves.
First is to start exercising. There have been several studies that compared exercise to antidepressants and found that it had similar effectiveness to many of the commonly prescribed antidepressant medications. This doesn’t have to be really vigorous exercise, but it does need to be aerobic (enough to raise the heart rate) and consistent.
The second is to become active in a church congregation; it is not enough to just attend church. Having brothers and sisters to pray for someone who is struggling, to listen to the discouraging situations, and to encourage that person to a more vibrant walk with God is really helpful.
Unfortunately, when someone is struggling with depression, the last thing they seem to want to do is make the effort to be around other people, which contrary to their feelings, is counterproductive to changing the problem.
As we consider this, it should move us to reach out to those who we know are struggling with isolation.
When someone loses a spouse, they often have a lot of encouragement for the first several weeks, but we need to make certain that they continue to have an active presence in their lives in the months that follow.
For every man shall bear his own burden –Galatians 6:5, should not give us excuse to not obey God’s command to Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ –Galatians 6:2. The family of God is given no time limit on bearing burdens. There is only a mandate that as we see our brother or sister struggling, we are to help them, as we are able.
The blessing is that someday, when we are struggling, we will have men and women of faith around us to encourage us and to pray for us. We cannot carry these burdens alone. Together, we will reach the Celestial City.
Isolation comes for many reasons. Sometimes it seems to be a chosen way of life, as is the natural tendency of introverted people. Sometimes it is foisted upon a person due to deaths of loved ones or other significant losses. Either way, it is not a healthy place to live.
As we find ourselves in these situations, we need to reach out for fellowship. The family of God is there for us if we only reach out.
As we see others who are struggling, we need to extend to them the right arm of fellowship. As we do so, we may, through our small efforts, help someone emotionally, physically, and spiritually, simply by being a friend in a time of isolation.
Links:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2841310/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29792097/
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23749730/
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5430071/
