“O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in Him” Ps 34:8. I was born and raised in Lancaster county PA. My parents were Amish, and I grew up the same. I became a religious person—religious without knowing Christ. God had to show me that my own righteousness is as filthy rags in His sight. I had to learn that, “It is not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration and the renewing of the Holy Ghost” Titus 3:5.
Hunger for Salvation
God began to work in my life after three of my sisters and one brother were born again. Their new life in Christ caused me to question, “What is truth?” and “Which church is right?” The Lord kept bringing to my mind John 14:6, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No man cometh unto the Father but by Me.” I started to see that no church can save me; only Jesus can give me eternal life. One day one of my sisters explained God’s glorious plan of salvation to me. She helped me to see that I must come to God as an individual, repenting of all my sins, and accept Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. Then I would be born again and receive a new life. I knew that day that I had never done anything like that. I realized that I knew about Jesus, but I didn’t know Him. That day in 1975, I opened my heart to Him to follow Him and to let Him cleanse me. God saved me by His mercy and kindness, and His presence became a reality to me. Praise the Lord.
Hunger Through Trials
Life as a Christian has not always been easy, but I have tasted of the Lord, and I long for more of Him. I want to know of His ways, and walk in His Spirit. In John 7:7 Jesus said, “If any man thirst, let him come unto Me and drink.” God is a fountain of living water, and I find my heart coming again and again to drink of Him. My heart often unites with the words of Paul in Phil. 3, “that I may know Him....” My deepest desire still is to know Him in His fullness, being led by His Spirit. Moment by moment kept in His love; moment by moment led from above.
The Lord has used the trials of my life and my own failures to teach me to seek Him more. I have learned that in me, that is in my flesh, dwelleth no good thing. I need something more than traditions, rules, regulations, and the religions of men. Through my many needs God has brought me to see my continual need of a relationship with the person of Jesus Christ. When I allow Him, He lives His life through me and writes His laws upon my heart. At a time in my life when I hardly had any fellowship with other believers, I was pressed to seek close fellowship with God. Crying out to my Lord, I learned that times alone with Jesus satisfy like nothing else can. His presence satisfies the longing soul.
Helps to Hunger
Giving attention to reading has helped me continue seeking after God. Reading the Word and seeing what the early Christians were like has made me long for more of Jesus. I long for more of the Holy Spirit that I might be one of those over comers we read about in the Bible. Another book that has stirred my longing heart many times is Deeper Experiences of Famous Christians. This book gives short accounts of many believers who were led by God into a baptism of grace that changed their lives forever. An enduement of power, a filling of the Spirit was granted to them as they sought God for more of Himself. One of the books featured in the book reviews was a great help to me several years ago: The School of Christ by T. Austin Sparks. This book helped me to yield to the loving hands of God as He purified me. I could identify with the main theme of the book, how God has us in a school to form Christ in us. This often happens when we are in adverse circumstances. As I read, I got a glimpse of God’s purpose in this school: more of Jesus, more of His likeness, more of His image and presence in my life. Once again I found myself crying out to God, ”Yes, Lord, yes, I want more of you.”
The Fruit of Hunger
More of Christ in reality in the inner man—this is growth. I have learned that the true spiritual life for which we thirst will never be found in things. Doctrines, rules, even knowledge of the Bible, as good as that may be, will not satisfy the deep longing of the heart. True life is found in Jesus, the Holy Spirit revealing Christ to us in a way that meets our need. God brings us into those difficult situations in order to make a place for the Lord Jesus in us in a deeper way—more of His love, His strength, His endurance, whatever our need is at the time. Some of my sweetest times with my Lord Jesus have been, and still are, times when I’m facing a battle, something I can’t handle on my own.
Hunger for Others
As I have drawn nearer and nearer to the Lord, my heart has gone out to others. O that others could know the sweetness of the Lord. One of my deepest prayer burdens has been for my own people. Like Paul said of Israel, I say of the dear Amish people, “...my heart’s desire and prayer to God...is that they might be saved. For I bear them record that they have a zeal of God, but not according to knowledge. For they being ignorant of God’s righteousness, and going about to establish their own righteousness, have not submitted themselves unto the righteousness of God.” (Rom. 10:1-3) It saddens my heart to see them going about doing many religious things, but they don’t know Him, which is the essence of true Christianity. I long to see God complete His work in me. I long to see Him revive the church which is His body, to meet the needs of thirsting souls around the world as Isaiah says, “I will pour water on him who is thirsty, and floods upon dry ground....” (Is. 44:3)
