One proof of the divine inspiration of the Bible is the timeless quality of its content. These writings from an ancient culture that was vastly different from our own teach many important principles that are totally relevant to our modern society. For example, let’s consider some principles of godly courtship from the story of Isaac and Rebekah. Although nearly four thousand years have passed since the events of Genesis 24 took place, the principles they teach us are still valid. First, we see...
A Godly Father’s Involvement
Abraham must have been keenly aware of the events in Isaac’s life and of the developments in his heart, for it was Abraham rather than Isaac who initiated the search for Isaac’s wife. It may be that Isaac had not really sensed his own need yet when Abraham realized the time had come. But this undertaking was no haphazard afterthought on Abraham’s part. It would have been far easier just to choose a local girl for Isaac, but Abraham wasn’t looking for the easiest route. He had received a promise that his descendants would be “as the sand of the seashore”, and he must have sensed that the kind of wife he found for Isaac might affect millions in future generations.
When his servant expressed doubt about being sent on such a search, Abraham was able to confidently tell him that the Lord would send an angel before him to prosper his journey. Apparently he had communicated with God about this matter, and so he was confident of His leading. It is very important to note that Abraham was known as the friend of God, so we can be sure that he heard from God before making this important decision. As a friend of God, Abraham had earned his son’s trust, and Isaac apparently didn’t try to interfere or control the search.
Blessed indeed is the young person whose father is involved in his/her courtship from its beginning, and twice-blessed if that father is a friend of God who has heard from heaven concerning his child’s courtship. It is not good enough for an anxious father (or mother) to decide that the time has come for their children’s marriage. It takes a friend of God to discern that word from the Lord, and to act properly upon it. Fathers, you owe it to your children to become a friend of God and to learn to hear His voice. Otherwise, you will be poorly equipped to guide them, and might well end up manipulating circumstances according to your own human reasoning and plans. That would be a tragedy, for it would deprive your children of the blessing of...
God’s Sovereign Marks
As Abraham’s servant traveled, it soon became evident to him that God was involved in this search for Isaac’s wife. There were too many sovereign marks of God throughout the whole process to be credited to coincidence. The servant was led to the right city, to the right well, on the right day, at the right time. There he prayed and asked God to reveal His will by an unmistakably sovereign mark. He would request a drink from the young ladies who came to the well, and if one of them offered to draw water for his ten camels also, he would know that to be Isaac’s future wife.
This was not the gambling prayer of someone who was simply desperate to find the first willing girl. After all, he could have decided to take the first one that gave him a drink, or even the first one that smiled at him. But wanting to be very sure, he made the condition hard, and even quite unlikely, considering his long row of thirsty camels. But even before he could finish his prayer, God answered it clearly, and Rebekah began to draw water for all those camels. Still the servant waited, daring to hope for another of God’s sovereign marks of confirmation. He got it when he asked Rebekah who she was, and found that she belonged to the very family he hoped to find. There could no longer be any doubt. God was in this, and it was meant to be.
Those sovereign marks that confirm God’s leading are different for different people, but they are important. In a decision with eternal consequences, God’s confirmation is needed before you dare proceed. Your marks may be less dramatic than the ones in this story, but they must be clear. God is not limited. Somehow He can make His will very clear. And His will includes...
A Bride Not of the World
Abraham had a clear vision of the kind of wife he wanted his son to marry. He refused to even consider any of the heathen women around them. Even in that ancient time, Abraham understood well the disastrous results of an unequal yoke, and he would not settle for the more convenient choice of an unmatched partner. Abraham himself had been called out of a heathen country to serve the true God, and he knew that Isaac was a son of promise who would be blessed by God also. What a tragedy it would have been to ruin the potential of that life with a godless companion.
That principle has not changed. Today, there are many young people who have taken a brave stand for holiness in their churches and youth groups, but now they are tempted to compromise in order to find a spouse. They feel far away and alone and think it is impossible for God to bring them the godly husband or wife they desire. They are tempted to give in to the peer pressure and take a partner of their own choosing. If you are such a young person, take courage from the story of Isaac and Rebekah. Even without the convenience of modern transportation or communication, God was able to bring together two people across a vast distance. And since God was so clearly the One orchestrating it, the bride quickly received...
The Blessing of the Parents
No courtship is complete without the parents’ blessing, and that blessing is especially remarkable in this story. Consider the account from the perspective of Rebekah’s parents. One evening she was sent to the well as usual to fetch water, and returned wide-eyed and breathless with the exciting news that she had met a servant of their faraway relative Abraham. The servant was promptly invited to lodge at their house, and he must have shocked them all with the story of his errand and God’s supernatural leading. Acknowledging God’s hand in all the events, the family said, “The thing proceeds from the Lord…take her and go.” It is interesting to note that they apparently made their decision solely on the basis of God’s clear leading. There is no record of any critical analysis of Isaac’s life and character, although that would surely have been reasonable enough.
The next morning the servant asked permission to take Rebekah and return immediately to his master. Rebekah’s mother protested, asking for at least ten more days with her daughter. It seems a fair request. After all, it was almost certain that they would never see her again. But the servant appealed, and when Rebekah expressed her willingness to go immediately, her family blessed her and sent her away. They must have been stunned by the sudden shock of it all. One evening their life was calm and peaceful, following a familiar routine. Apparently they didn’t even know that Isaac existed. The next morning, possibly as little as twelve hours later, they willingly sent Rebekah out of their lives forever, to be the wife of that stranger.
Parents, you can relax. The important principle here is not the speedy process, but the parents’ willingness to agree to God’s unmistakable direction. I do believe God expects you to be very prudent and careful before giving your blessing to a courtship, but once God’s will is clear, is there any real value in withholding your blessing?
Rebekah’s family released her with no strings attached. It must have been difficult, but in view of God’s evident will, it was the right thing to do. Parents, one of the most valuable gifts you can give to your children is simply the release and liberty that they need from you in order to establish their own home. That freedom and blessing from her parents made it possible for Rebekah to be...
A Bride That Forsook All for Her Husband
If Rebekah’s family was left stunned by the dramatic turn of events, just imagine how she herself must have felt. One day she was cheerfully performing her usual duties in service to her family. Suddenly her life changed forever when she generously offered to do an unusual favor for a tired stranger at the well. The next morning she was riding away on a camel, leaving her family and friends forever for an unknown future as the wife of an unknown man. The only reason she could take such a dramatic step was that God’s leading was unmistakably clear to her, too. She must have felt amazed and unworthy as she realized that God knew her personally and had been preparing her all along to be the wife of Isaac.
When the servant begged to leave the very morning after meeting Rebekah, her family decided to leave the decision to her. She was called in and asked, “Wilt thou go with this man?” and her immediate reply was, “I will go.” How much is contained in those three words! It was a promise to forsake all that was familiar and dear to her, and a lifelong commitment to someone she didn’t even know yet. Somehow I think Rebekah hadn’t slept much the night before. She must have faltered at the thought of leaving her family and homeland forever, but no doubt as she pondered the mysterious, perfect ways of God, she knew that she could trust Him for an unknown and unknowable future. The sovereign marks of God removed any doubt, and once she was fully convinced of God’s will, she wasted no time playing coquettish games of hard-to-get. She gave her full consent to God’s leading, and put her faith in action. God rewarded her with...
A Consecrated Young Man
We can only imagine the thoughts, dreams, anticipations, apprehensions, and questions that must have filled Rebekah’s mind during that long journey on the back of a camel. The servant’s description of Isaac that first night was very sketchy, at best. The Bible doesn’t even record whether Rebekah knew the name of her future husband before agreeing to forsake all for him. Did she ever wonder as she traveled whether she had acted too rashly? Did she ever wish to turn back to the familiar routine of a comfortable life with her family? No doubt she spent many hours thinking, wondering, and asking the servant questions about the man she was to marry.
And what about Isaac? How anxiously he must have watched for the return of that camel train! Surely the days passed slowly for him as he waited, wondering whether God had prospered the search for his wife. And how did he pass the time spent in waiting? He walked in the fields at evening, meditating and communing with God. For Isaac was a consecrated young man, not wasting his time in amusements, nor striving to become wealthy, yet not uselessly idling the time away. The story of Isaac’s near death on Mt. Moriah reveals a deep respect for his father. He had learned to accept his father’s authority, and now God was prepared to validate his authority as a leader in his new home.
God blessed the faith and obedience of this young couple by orchestrating the ideal meeting between them—one final, sovereign mark of His approval. Rebekah’s first glimpse of her future husband must have filled her with confidence and reassured her of God’s perfect guidance. For as Rebekah arrived, Isaac was meditating, meeting with God, no doubt praying about his coming responsibilities as a husband. What a perfect way for those young people to meet! And within moments of their meeting, Isaac knew that he had been rewarded for his trust and obedience with the gift of...
A Pure and Modest Bride
As soon as Rebekah realized that she was about to meet the man she had come so far to marry, she veiled herself, as was fitting for a pure, modest bride. She did not take God’s unmistakable leading as an excuse for being too bold or eager. With shy modesty, she waited for Isaac to hear from the servant the whole miraculous story of God’s divine leading. The Bible emphasizes the fact that Rebekah was a pure virgin, and no doubt that was one of the reasons God chose her for Isaac, the son of promise. And Isaac, as he sensed this “shamefaced sobriety” knew that she was the perfect wife for him. She had kept herself for him alone, long before she knew for whom it was that she was keeping herself pure. Against all odds, God had brought them together, and with Him planning it, of course they were perfectly suited for each other.
This beautiful story ends with one beautiful little phrase that tells us all we really need to know: “and he loved her.”
