# My Cranky Self

Language: en  
Author: —JoAnna Raber \(Age 17\) Ephrata, PA  
Original issue: The Heartbeat of The Remnant, November/December 2010, Number 6  
Source pages: 34  
Read article: <https://remnant.truechristian.church/en/poetry/my-cranky-self/>
Original PDF: 2010\-11\-Remnant\-2\.pdf
[The Heartbeat of The Remnant, November/December 2010](<https://remnant.truechristian.church/en/issues/heartbeat-remnant-2010-11/>)

I grumble in the morning, “There’s so much to do,  
 It’s my turn to do dishes, why couldn’t it be you?”  
 The baby is sick with a fever you say;  
 There goes my hopes of sewing today\.  
 Don’t touch me, don’t bump, I already said “No,  
 I’m not gonna help you if you’re so slow\.”  
 I complain and I grumble, ‘til I’m all tied in knots\.  
 I’ve been disrespectful to mom, and cross with the tots\.

At night when upon my bed I lay  
 I feel very miserable as I think of my day\.  
 “I’m awfully terrible,” I tell myself with a groan,  
 Where is the good example that I should have shown\.  
 In my dreams I’m so often lovely and sweet;  
 I imagine myself blessing those whom I meet\.  
 I picture myself a kindhearted girl,  
 Singing and cleaning ‘til my head’s in a swirl,  
 Rocking baby brother who’s teething and sick;  
 Laughing along with an annoying trick\.

But I’ve been thinking, and come to a conclusion;  
 To think good works “happen” is just a delusion\.  
 It takes time with God, reading and praying,  
 And with a tender heart, His will obeying\.  
 And suddenly a flame in your heart will spark,  
 Glowing from within, it shatters the dark\.  
 No longer need I be a sweet girl in my “dream”;  
 I can be the *real* thing, a cheerful sunbeam\.