# Gossip Musings of a Missionary Language: en Author: Barry Grant Titanyen, Haiti Original issue: The Heartbeat of the Remnant, Fall 2021, Number 3 Source pages: 4–6 Read article: Original PDF: Fall\-2021\-Remnant\(1\)\.pdf [The Heartbeat of the Remnant, Fall 2021]() The Bible calls all of God’s people to grow\. We are constantly being changed and perfected into the image of Jesus Christ\. We do not all grow together, and we do not all grow in the same way or at the same speed, but as a true Christian, continued growth is essential\. Grow we must\! If we are not growing, we are, at best, dying\. The world has pushed for a system that expects everyone to be happy just how they are\. Even in many churches of our day, it is only expected to accept everyone exactly how they are\. It is considered unkind to expect people to change\. This type of thinking is heresy and will lead to certain apostasy\. I was once working with a man that professed to be a Christian\. However, he had a raging temper\. One day he got very angry, cursing, and yelling\. I stopped him and calmly told him that this behavior is not acceptable in the Christian’s life\. He angrily told me it’s how his grandfather was, and how his father is, and how he would always be—there would be no changing\. I explained to him that unless he changed this ugly pattern, it would be how his son would be, and possibly generations to come\. Let us not forget that *…with God all things are possible –Matthew 19:26\.* And not only is it good to be changing, but it is a must\! The reason that I am talking about change is simply to lead us to a topic all too common among us, a topic that many just accept as normal… gossip\. If we read through our bibles, there are many verses that address this topic\. *A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter –Proverbs 11:13\.* I’m sure there are very few people who would say gossip is good\. So why is there so much of it among us? It is because it is natural\. It is natural for one to desire to go and tell things to others, even if we are not sure if it is true\. For example, if my children and I take a walk and we see something impressive, instantly the children are excited to go home and “tell mommy”\. They each want to be the one to tell her\. The closer we get to the house, the quicker they begin to walk\. Soon there is a mad dash for the house and the first one in the door blurts out the news without tact or discretion\. Then the ones that did not get to “tell mommy the news” are disappointed\. If it is natural to be a tale bearer, why must we be careful? Because the Bible says it will cause strife among us\. It is also natural to lie, cheat, and steal\. The definition of a tale bearer is, *one who runs from house to house tattling and telling news, an idle tattler\.* So, because it is natural for us to gossip, it will take effort on our part to ***not*** gossip\. It will take work; we will gossip unless we purposefully avoid it\. Below is a list of some ideas that could help us avoid being a talebearer or spreading gossip\. As we go through these points, let’s remember that if we want to change, we must first have a desire to change\. ### 1\. Be slow to speak\. *Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath –James 1:19\.* What does it mean to be slow to speak? Does it mean to speak less or does it \. \. \. mean \. \. \. to \. \. \. talk \. \. \. slowly? There was a time in my life that I tried my hand at driving truck to earn an income\. On my first day driving I was a bit nervous\. I was approaching the city of Cincinnati and got off the interstate… on the wrong exit\. This would not have been a big problem if I could have just gotten back on the interstate, but I could not, and there was no turning back\. So, I wiggled my 53\-foot trailer around the cobblestone streets of that little Cincinnati suburb\. I very much regretted taking the wrong exit\. After crushing some trash cans and clipping a few trees I vowed to never do it again\. *From now on I will be ‘slow to exit’,* I thought to myself\. Because I never wanted to make that mistake again, I needed a plan\. I began double and triple checking everything before the exit\. I was extremely careful\. I would look at the GPS, it would say the exit number, the road number and the city that exit would lead me to\. The next exit I needed was exit 116 for I\-75 N, Dayton\. When I approached the exit, I verified what the signs said, first the exit number, 116, then the road number and the city\. Only after everything lined up did I exit\. If the signs would have verified everything but instead of Dayton it said Cincinnati, I would not exit, since not everything lined up\. I never missed the right exit after that day\. Now, did I exit less? Well yes, and no\. Being ‘slow to exit’ did keep me from exiting unnecessarily, but I did not exit less than was necessary\. ![Two girls whispering to each other]() When we speak, we must remember that once words leave our lips, they can never be taken back\. Maybe we can try to change what we say, but the words we speak are there for eternity\. When we are called to be slow to speak, it means that we need to carefully consider everything we say… before we say it\. This may result in less speaking and more thinking\. *Will what I say hurt someone? Is what I am about to say true? Is it profitable? Will it draw attention to myself?* If we follow this plan, then we will not be constantly regretting the things that we say\. ### 2\. Do not assume anything\. We have probably all been in a situation where an account we had previously shared with others comes back to us, but the details are much construed\. When we are telling someone about an account that we heard, there are often details that we do not know\. It is common for us to assume things and then act as if they are facts\. For example, someone might say “did you hear that Jack’s grandfather passed away?” “No, was it from Covid?” “I *assume* so\.” The next day the story quickly is told, “did you hear that Jack’s grandfather died from Covid?” And just like that the rumor mill is started\. If the first person would have responded with a simple, “I don’t know” then it could have changed everything\. Often when we assume things, the truth is smeared, and people get hurt\. When we hear about a teenager being involved in an accident, we may say “he was probably drinking,” or if someone loses their job, we may assume “it was because of his temper”\. The list goes on and on, but remember, assuming things is usually what starts a long line of rumors that is not easily corrected\. If we don’t know something, it is ok to say so\! Which brings us to our next point\. ### 3\. Do not think you must know everything\. I have marveled at how in Genesis 45 Jacob hears that his son Joseph is yet alive\. After many years of thinking that animals mauled his beloved son, the very sons that told him the original story now have a completely different report—he is yet alive\! After he confirms this, he does not try to figure out what happened on the day that his sons returned with the coat of many colors—all torn and bloody\. It was almost as though he knew it would not benefit the situation, so he decided that he *did not need to know*\. I imagine that I would be calling for a meeting ASAP, trying to find out the details of these new circumstances\. There are times that we think we must know something, now\! But if we just stop and think, do we really need to know? Maybe we could greatly simplify our lives by not requiring to that we know everything\. Not that many years ago \(before the internet and cell phones\) people only knew what was in their own small world, now with all the technology of our day, we can know almost anything that we want to\. But does it really benefit us? We live in a world that thinks it needs to know everything; newspapers tell us things that mean nothing at all to us\. Not only do we continue to waste our time reading about it, but we also then think that we must share this useless information with everyone else we know\. In a time where most Christians agree the end is near, we could spend our time encouraging one another\. We could be talking about the scriptures or discussing the sermon from the past Sunday\. When we think we must tell everyone everything about everyone else or ourselves, it creates the perfect platform for gossip\. Before saying something, ask yourself the question, “Do people need to know this information?” This is the main reason that social media has become so popular—a young man decided to create a social media website on which people from all over the world could gossip, one with another\. People could talk about all kinds of useless information\. He became the richest man in the world\. He had found exactly what people wanted, a platform to gossip about others and boast about themselves\. Now we can easily discover anything about anyone\! It’s no wonder that we are not as spiritual as we desire to be\. Often if we would direct our speech away from ourselves, and onto more important matters, our conversations would be more fulfilling\. Remember this, if you do not need to know something, do not worry about it, \(most times we only want to know, so we can tell others\.\) Then we can put down our devices and pick up our Bibles\. ### 4\. Correct idle talk\. Something that has been very helpful for me, is apologizing to people when I find myself talking out of place\. This has a lasting impression on how we talk in the future\. If we know that we can say whatever we want and yes, we may regret it later, but life goes on, then we will not likely change\. However, if we make it a point to call back a neighbor and apologize for some foolish jesting, we will be more careful in the future\. In any case, making our wrongs right helps keep us accountable to ourselves\. Usually when I call people back and say that I should not have been talking as I was, they usually say they did not think anything of it, and that is probably true\. But it’s not always just about what others think\. If we feel God convicting us of some error in our speech, we must make it right\. Because foolish talk is accepted in our day, it’s easy to get sucked in and it does not seem wrong\. I wonder how our talk today would have fit in 500 years ago\. If our conscience is working properly, we will feel convicted when we talk idly\. Then to keep our conscience working properly we must respond to the Holy Spirit’s call to repent\. When we ignore this call, we soon stop hearing it, we can say whatever we want, and nothing will bother us\. *Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things\. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth\! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell –James 3:5\-6\.* I challenge all who read this article to join me in putting forth a valiant effort to watch how we talk, to try to make a point to make each word count, to be slow to speak, to not assume anything, to not think we must know everything, and finally, to be quick to correct any gossip shared by us or others\. I believe this will help us to point the next generation in the right direction and to show those around us that we truly are of another Kingdom\. *While pursuing things, not found on earth One could certainly find, a brand new birth\. The things of earth, do fade away\. And make for a certain, brand new day\. Concern for self, pleasure and toy\. Is replaced by peace, love and joy\. Does it make sense to only live for today? And forget about forever, and the narrow way? For what is your life, the disciples say? But only a vapor, that vanishes away\! Can wisdom speak, and give its defense? Forgetting our lives is all that makes sense\! For eternity awaits, not to some but all\. Don’t trade for that life, this life so small\! Come unto me, the great Master speaks\. And all will find rest, yes each who seeks\!* ## Magazine citation - [Two girls whispering to each other](): Unsplash\.com